


for petes sake timothy

by beanfriedfritters



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jason is not that messed up in this tbh, M/M, Pining, Tim Drake is A Little Stupid, bc i don’t care, dami and timmy are acc bros in this not rivals, dick is such a mum, i did him a bit ooc, i just don’t care, i want my boys to get along, i’m procrastinating doing revision, like you can probably read it as a lot sadder than i meant it to be, not too sad?, so this is what happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19254763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanfriedfritters/pseuds/beanfriedfritters
Summary: When Tim agreed to date Jason as part of a scheme he knew nothing about, he didn’t realise what exactly he was signing up for. But, for good or for worse, he was in that situation, and by the gods was he going to milk the chance while he could.





	for petes sake timothy

Faking a relationship with the vigilante you’ve been in love with since you were about seven is harder than you might think.

Tim kind of wants to die.

Tim had thought that this would last maybe a week maximum? But it was entering the second month when Tim had realised he entirely regretted agreeing to this.

Red Hood and Red Robin would be increasingly flirtatious out on patrol, saying cocky things about what they’d do to each other once they got home, chatting each other up during a fight, etcetera etcetera. But as soon as patrol was over, or they were alone, whichever happened first, Jason would pat Tim on the shoulder and leave without a word, leaving Tim feeling a little more empty every time. 

It was kind of breaking Tim’s heart. 

He’d been allowed to give Jason a kiss on the lips the other night when the taller teen had taken off his helmet on a rest, and even though Tim was the only one actively moving his lips, it didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it. Right?

It also wasn’t self-destructive as Steph called it. Or a tremendously bad idea like Cass thought.

Here’s what’s happened thus far in Tim’s shitty past month. 

——

“Hey, babybird.”

Tim smiles, “Hey Hood. What’s going on in your part of town?”

Jason reaches up to pull off his helmet, a clicking noise sounding, and pulls out a cigarette packet, “Not a lot. But there’s rumours circulatin’ an’ I need you to help me out a bit.” He lights the cig between his lips.

Tim’s brows furrowed. It wasn’t often Jason asked for help. “Yeah, of course. What do you need?” Of course he’d say yes though, it’s Jason.

“Need you ta pretend ta be my boyfriend for a lil’ while.”

Tim gaped, “Can I ask why?”

Jason took a drag of his cigarette, a single brow arches. “You can,” he says plainly.

Tim lets out a frustrated sigh, “But you won’t answer.” He knows Jason’s game. Knows it all too well.

The man smirks, stubbing out his cigarette, which was probably a waste, considering how little he used of it, “Sorry pretty bird. Catch ya later.” He winks and slots his helmet over his head. And with that, he’s gone.

Tim leans over the edge of the building, eyes searching for a sign of the man in the streets below, “Hey you didn’t tell me anything about-“ He cuts himself off, rolling his eyes.

——

“So,” Dick drawls, “Jason, huh.” He grins and nudges Tim with his shoulder.

“No! It’s - um- not like that!” _If only_.

Tim watches as his older brother smirks at him slyly. “Sure, Timmy.”

Tim pouts, “It really isn’t like that.”

Dick keeps the teasing grin for a second but it slowly slips away as he realises how serious Tim is, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But you want it to be like that,” It’s not a question. “Are you- Do you mind doing this?”

“Oh, no, Dick. I adore pretending to be in love with the man I actually _am_ in love with just so he can get rid of a few rumours.” 

Dick frowns, and sits down close to Tim, lying a long arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders, “Tim...”

Tim breaks away from Dick, unable to meet his eyes, “Yeah I know. You don’t have to tell me. It’s not like I want to love him.”

His brother watches him fidget, “That wasn’t what I was gunna say Tim.” He licks his lips, “What I was gunna say, was that this is probably a very bad idea for you.”

“Yeah. I know.” 

“Do you?”

“Yes.” He pauses, uncertain, “I dunno. I guess I may as well make the most of it you know? My only chance to actually get within a metre of him.” He laughs self-deprecatingly.

Dick steps into his space, and pulls him in for a hug. 

Dick opens his mouth to speak but Tim cuts him off, “Please don’t. I know he’d be my friend if I wanted. But I don’t want to be his friend.”

Dick sighs, and runs a maternal hand through Tim’s soft hair, being well aware of the futility of trying to change Tim’s mind, “Well, just know that I’m here.”

Tim smiles up at him, “I know you are, Dickie.”

——

“So,” Tim starts, “How’s the rumour situation going on?”

Jason turns his head, seemingly distracted, watching the street from above, “What?”

“The rumours? They cleared up yet?”

He watches the older man wince, “Um. No. Not yet, babybird.” He paused, then, hesitantly, “But you-you don’t have to keep doing this if- if you don’t want to?”

“No!” Tim bursts out, then blushes when Jason looks at him bemusedly, “I mean, no it’s fine.” 

The corners of Jason’s lips turn up, soft amusement curling around his eyes. Tim had to force himself to look away. He’s pretty sure its not subtle in the slightest.

Jason twitches, voice lowering, “Timbo, at your six.” But his arm is already above Tim’s shoulder, gun firing with a bang next to his ear. Jason’s helmet clicks into place over his head, a wry grin the last expression Tim can see.

Tim Drake feels like swooning, but Red Robin has his bo staff out in a flash. 

Red Robin and Red Hood stand back to back, fighting off punches, kicks, and jabs, Jason with rubber bullets and hard hits, Tim with nimble quickness. 

After the men are down, Jason goes to slap Tim on the shoulder, and go home, but Tim steps back before he can, a jerk reaction. Jason huffs, seeming somewhat annoyed. Tim grabs his shoulder before he can turn away.

“Hood, would you wanna- maybe- come grab a, um, coffee? With um. With me?” Tim stutters out.

The Red Hood cocks his head, “We’re on patrol, babybird.” Tim deflates inside, and smiles blankly at him on the outside, about to nod his acquiescence. But then Jason pauses, and reaches up to take off his helmet, domino still firmly in place, “But sure. We can go for a coffee.” 

The taller man lifts his hands to Tim’s face, and wipes away some blood flecks from the fight. _Not romantic, Tim, its not a romantic action._

He catches Tim’s hand with his gloved one, pulling him along behind him. Tim is fairly certain he resembles a tomato but he could not care less in this moment.

——

The coffee is nice in this little cafe Jason took him too. The barista hadn’t even looked remotely shocked or dumbfounded when they walked in. Tim almost felt cheated. Goddamned Gothamites. 

Tim sips his coffee, watching as Jason raves about Dostoevsky, allowing himself a selfish minute of Jason-Todd-appreciation. It’s a thing. If it isn’t, it should be.

Jason doesn’t seem to notice anyway. If he does, he’s nice enough to not mention it. Or ridicule him for it. Or just plain leave. Or- 

He cuts his own thoughts off. 

Jason moves onto another author, and Tim continues Jason-Todd-appreciation for another self-indulgent minute. No one can blame him really.

He sips his coffee. It’s very nice.

——

“Drake.”

Tim turns, eyebrows drawn, “Yeah, Damian?”

The boy fidgets slightly, unsure for once, “I do not agree with this relationship you have with Todd.”

Tim purses his lips, “Thanks Damian.”

“It appears... off?” He’s hesitant, which is definitely unusual for Damian.

Tim winces, “Really?”

Damian nods, “As much as I... object to your presence, I do not hate you.” His tone is serious, with a slightly dark undertone, “So I wished to warn you that this farce does not fool me.”

“Um.” Tim stutters, “Uh- What farce?”

“Stop pretending. You are a pathetic actor. Todd even more so.”

Tim stares at the younger boy, completely dumbfounded, “We fooled Bruce. _Batman_. We fooled The Batman. How on earth did you work it out?”

Damian gives a smirk, “The student becomes the master, Drake. I am his son.”

“I- Honestly? I have no clue how I’m supposed to react.” A moment passes, “Wait! Ah God, Jason is going to kill me if he finds out you know.”

“He wouldn’t.”

Tim gives a little laugh, “Joke, Damian. That was a joke.”

Damian sniffs, “I know.”

Tim gives him a find shove, “Of course you do, little brother.” He waits for the inevitable indignant cries of the Demon child.

They come within seconds, and he has to narrowly dodge a thrown knife, but Tim believes it to be a successful diversion all in all.

——

**Author's Note:**

> :))


End file.
